Round 1

So it's back. We're no more than 2 games into the new premiership season and Chelsea are on max points, the team most dominated by English players have lost 2, a further 2 English players have broken their feet, Lehman is practicing his circus skills and Roy Keane is back, this time slagging off women (not his team-mates).

All too familiar? Maybe not. I genuinely have grounds for believing this season could be most intriguing. Of the newly promoted teams, Sunderland and Birmingham have both warranted early praise with some gritty displays and flamboyant attacking play respectively (if to the detriment of the latter). Steve Bruce is as excited as anyone regarding the promising looking Kapo and under the refreshingly no-nonsense attitude of Roy Keane Sunderland look certain to put to bed the pathetic ghosts of 2 seasons past. Lets see if our second best flight can provide us with more than 1 team to last 2 seasons this time round!

After some serious number crunching we realise that if 2 newbies stay up then two more experienced prem occupiers must go down! I think this is always one of the most interesting debates in any season: What will that danger zone look like come Spring? Wigan scraped it on the last day back in May and now they've lost the great man-management of Paul Jewell. Boro' look like they can no longer rely on Yakubu to muscle through tired defenders seeing as he's so bloody tired himself and they have lost a reliable netter in Viduka. I can tell you as an Arsenal fan too that unless Alliadiere finds some confidence his spurts of great skill will only serve to frustrate, they need Mido...now...or do they? His former club are sitting 3rd from bottom on goal difference. £16 million??? Get Bent! I know very little of Derby and so welcome all ur thoughts on their chances.

Top 4? The only thing Man.Utd have to worry abt is how quickly Chel$ea pick points up and how many metatarsals Shrek has left come the close season. With Nani and Anderson teaming up with Ronaldo, Scholes and Giggs the Red Devils carry the creativity and guile to punch their way past any defence in Europe while Hargreaves should help provide extremely solid cover for the fluffy little center-halves of Ferdinand and Vidic. Although it pains me to say it I think they're going to be a pleasure to watch. Oh, and they now have Tevez.

In further belief that the prem shold be a gem this year I actually reckon Chel$ea might play some really pretty stuff. Malouda is electric when he starts and finishes moves (check him on you-tube) and they may add Dani Alves too. Combine this with Robben, Cole and Wrong-Choice-Phillips and thats some pretty devasting width. This should keep the dull, narrow central work of Obi Mikel, Ballack, Lampard, Essien and err...Sidwell to a minimum. Thing is they've brushed up on defensive 'cover' with Ben Tal Haim and Alex too...I think they might get it back this yr :(

Arsenal and Liverpool? Jesus. Bloody impossibe to tell if you ask me and I know a lot abt the former. How the hell can you tell whether a young team are gonna gell or not. I dont think anyone doubts our talent but there are too many if's and but's to write an unbiased opinion. Lets just say V.P could get a lot of goals and we seem to have hit a trick with Hleb-in-the-hole and the added width of an ever-advancing cliche and re-positioned Eboue. Eduardo? Dont know, his and Bentdners smash and grab play could just be that missing key to an otherwise pretty damn-well oiled machine. I'll leave it there to spare you my unravelling expectations.

Here's another Cliche: Liverpool need to stop switching, testing, twisting and turning and find a good solid starting 11. Maybe they can help the prem entertain this yr if they pick up their tempo, play some passes shorter than 30 yards and bring the ball TOO the box rather than shoving it there against Crouch and Kuyts faces like England...Urgh! (I may as well punctuate this blog with cannons and guns). Players like Bellamy, Cisse and Fowler come and go so quickly that they never find an attcking groove. They do have Torres now tho! Thoughts?

Anyway, I think you all get the message: It COULD be really exciting! Pls, pls, pls comment, argue, agree or just speculate and fill in the gaps I missed with thoughts on a possible Bolton decline (pertinant to a flourishing league), and blackburn, newcastle and city triumphs.

Spurs fans? Let me know what you think too cause I really, really care...thats if you can hear me from down there.

Seriously tho everyone, just be happy the weekend is back.

Laterz.